The Simplest Method of Becoming Sexier
There are MILLIONS of articles and ideas out there for becoming more attractive as a guy in order to land more dates/better relationships with women. But I've found a simple concept almost NONE of them talk about.
As a guy, I know we often feel comfortable grabbing the low-hanging fruit - meaning, we're gunning for the least amount of work to get us the most amount of reward. That's why many of us scour the net for "dating advice" and end up jotting down some great lines to say, text messages to send, or witty expressions to use to grab a girl's attention. You know...low hanging fruit.
But this idea is going to go far deeper. Good news is if you're willing to put in the work to apply this simple practice into your life, your success in dating will SKYROCKET. Hell, your success in EVERYTHING will skyrocket because having this character trait makes you a better man in each area of your life.
My advice is simple: stop going for the low hanging fruit, put in the time and effort to genuinely become a better person, and apply The Simplest Method of Getting Sexier:
Practice some freaking self-control. This means exerting the willpower necessary to manage your actions, thoughts, and emotions. It means showing discipline in your life over and over again.
Think about how great you feel when you exert self-control. When you workout or exercise regularly, you feel healthy and strong. When you hold a strong posture with your body language, you feel confident and powerful. When you control your speech and use precision language to talk (no "umms" or "likes" or "you knows') you feel more articulate. When you discipline your actions and keep them aligned with your goals, you feel productive and successful. I could go on and on and on...
Our self-esteem is the HIGHEST when we exert self-control in our lives. We just feel much BETTER about who we are as men. This confidence automatically makes us FEEL more ATTRACTIVE when we're around women. Why? Because we feel like we are in control of our lives! We feel like we are in command and creating life exactly the way we want to. This mentality is extremely sexy in the eyes of women.
Conversely, think about how you feel about yourself when you LACK self-control. You skip the trip to the gym and feel lazy. You let your body slump over and you feel lethargic. You stumble through an awkward long-winded explanation and feel like you're not making any sense when you speak. You get angry and let your emotions fly out of control and you feel pissed at yourself for messing up. Again, I could go on and on.
I talk about this simple idea in my book Unshakable Swagger. One of the most important qualities all women are looking for in a potential mate is self-control. They love a guy that works out often with a great body not just because of how he looks - but because they KNOW he has tremendous discipline and willpower. They appreciate a guy who never loses his cool around her because he is restrained and in-check with his emotions. They value a man who is a go-getter and aggressive with achieving his goals because he has integrity and does what he says he is going to do more often than guys who sit back and watch things happen.
One of the sexiest things you can do with a woman you're starting to date is show her you are in complete control of your physical interest towards her. What I mean by this is that you show RESTRAINT in pursuing her. You don't take every invitation to hang out with her. You don't ask her over whenever you're free. You don't respond to each and every text message or call her several times a day. You let her know you are in control of your feelings for her. This will make her wonder one big thing about you: what is it about him? Why is he so DIFFERENT from all the other guys falling all over me?
So here's the deal: if you're single right now and wondering why women aren't finding you very attractive, odds are you are severely lacking self-control in your life. My advice? Start working towards something; anything. Practice public speaking and start cutting out all of the "umms" and "ahhhs" from your speech. Watch movies with confident characters and study their body language. Start a workout routine and stick to it without quitting. When you're dating someone, show restraint. Show her you have other things going in your life - don't chase after her blindly. Let her know, "I'm really into you - and I could make a move right now - but I don't want to." This will drive her CRAZY and show her you are in command of your life - you're not a lost puppy dog chasing after the mailman down the street.
Go get 'em, tiger ;)
About Byron Van Pelt
Byron Van Pelt is a Certified Life Coach, entrepreneur, and published author of Unshakable Swagger: The Man's Guide to Being Confident Any Time, Any Place...Period. He is now happily married with his wife, Bethany and lives in Jacksonville, Florida. With over eight years of dedication to the world of high-end personal development, he utilizes an arsenal of skills to accelerate his clients' breakthroughs in business, dating, health, and fulfillment. Byron specializes in teaching men how to explode their level of confidence in everything they do and ensure it resonates in even the most challenging circumstances.